Friday, January 31, 2020

The Vision Quest

 #janimue

The quest ended in a small apartment in Van Nuys, CA.  The night job sorting mail failed to raise the rent and the landlord had posted an eviction notice. I didn't know another nearby soul beyond hello.
The boy friend had left, plagued by his own demons with which I was unable to help. 

I had nowhere to go. I was going to have to hit  the road again wondering each night where I could sleep, often hungry, fighting fear and exhaustion to positively bless every vehicle that passed me by while I stood shivering with my thumb out.The little abandoned kitten dumped on me was in heat. It was an old west meller- drama - "The Peril's of Pauline".

Tho a fairly frequent marajuana user and a rare social drinker, I had not had anything stronger than coffee for months. I'd done some minor consulting work on a Commador Amiga and was inspired by the capabilities of the graphics. In Asia mandalas have long been used as devices to get beyond linear, left brain, thinking . It occurred to me that the new graphics capabilities would be an even more powerful tool, especially tied to the exploration of optical illusions. The kitchen table was strewn with graph paper filled with colored geometric patterns I had been drawing when the visions came.

Time came in a disconnected sequence of bundles.

I was standing on the surface of Mars. The wind was blowing. I could sense that below the surface was a very alien intelligence. Like the museum of fungus it spread out beyond the horizon. I felt someone tell me that Mars was quarantined.

I was on the street at night excitedly proclaiming to two giggling teenage girls that the aliens were coming.

I was in the bathtub. A stardust twinkle in the pattern of the wall in front of me caught my eye. I leaned forward to see more closely and my mind fell into the wall. The atoms of the wall expanded exponentionally around me to the size of basket balls, then to the size of planets. A timeless rush brought me beyond the plane of quantum ground to a perspective where I was seeing something like galaxies of consciousness. Thousands of intelligent civilizations. A large proportion of them were engaging in a brilliant display of fireworks from their own self immolation. Singly and in unisons of complex patterns, the civilizations died in what was their highest artistic achievement as they left that plane of existance for some other. Billions of conscious entities killing themselves for an awe producing display of beauty.

I danced as maiden in the sanctuary of the Temple of God in Jeruselem. I wept with joy as I was found worthy.

There was a small dark dimple in the ceiling. It looked as if a hole had been drilled and a miniature camera cable inserted. I could almost make out a tiny lens.

I answered the knock on the apartment door half naked. Perhaps it was a noise complaint. I only recall that it was congenial.

I was on an overpass of a freeway leading into LA. Looking down on the freeway I saw a dark rombehedral shape hovering about 20 feet above the roadway. Imagine a 30' long black destroyer from Star Wars without the superstructure. It was very black, made out almost completely by the occlusion of the light beneath it. I think it had two tiny white lights like leds on it's periphery and maybe a red and a yellow light asymmetrically order from the center I was looking down on.

I was walking in the afternoon towards Sherman Oaks. A boxy black limousine followed very slowly along behind me. It turned and drove away. Another was soon seen pacing me.

The Tarot was showing me a hierarchy of the four queens. I was queen of swords at the top. We each had a sphere of responsibility, but the responsibility for the group was on me.

I have no exact knowledge how long the vision lasted. I know it was at least two days and maybe as much as a week. Unraveling the meaning seems to be taking much longer.

Did I say my vision quest ended? I mis-spoke